“You have changed..”

According to my other half and my father, I have changed since I started working. I do not see it, but this is how this statement came about.

Early in the days of nursing school, my family was concerned about me and nursing. They all felt that I would be a great nurse….I am caring, compassionate and have this freakish ability to remember things. Oh, I can not remember things such as…what the real reason I went to the store, or why I went to a particular room in the house, or sometimes my age. But, many times I can remember something told to me that I can repeat it word for word, or I can see something and recall much information about the situation.

So, before I decided to be a nursing major, my SO, L. and I discussed my options for a future career. I think the exact statement was “there has to be a job where your caring ability for other people and your freaky memory will work for you” I think it was supposed to be a compliment.

What was I saying? Oh yeah, the changed thing. The first time it was brought up, was a couple months after I was working. I was told that I “talk” different. Had I picked up an accent? Was I speaking in another language? No, apparently, I say things more matter of fact than before. Not that it was bad…it was, just well, different. I explained that perhaps the change has come from me getting in the habit of telling people information in a way that gets the point across. Not much time to sugar coat it. This is how it is.

Then, my loving family ganged up on me. This is how it went down. It is Halloween and my dad came over and was met by a very cranky Nurse D. See, I had put in for Halloween off 2 months in advance. Apparently, so did most of the shift. I love Halloween. It is only 2nd place because of Christmas. So, I was none too happy at the prospect of working on one of my favorite holidays. I recall dad asking me how work was going. I think I mumbled a few things about drug seekers, drunks and stupid reasons people come to the hospital. Took some pics of the kids and my dad dressed up and stomped off to work.

This is when the ganging up took place. While I was gone, L. and Dad had a sit down and they feel that I have become “hardened” since I started working. *raises one eyebrow* I was not even there to defend myself!! *sigh*

So, this is my theory on my “changing”. I feel that Emergency nursing calls attracts a certain personality type. I know that I was attracted to the ER because of the fast pace. It is a place that you never know what is going to come in the door. I work better when I have to think quick. It is perfect for those of us that have a short attention span. We actually have moments that the person is only in the room for an hour. So, you have to be on your toes, running from room to room. You have to be in a room with one person while thinking about your other patients. You need to be ready to anticipate what will be needed next and how to get everything done. You also have to be ready to change your plans with out notice.

Also, you deal with people and situations that are….unpredictable. You can only be nice for so long when you have a combative drunk that needs to be restrained while the family in the other room is giving you a hard stare because you have not got their family member a drink yet, while the drug seeker is asking for another “shot” of pain meds because it has been 10 minutes since the doctor said they could have another one, while your actually sick patient needs to be transferred to the ICU. Oh, not to forget, while this is going on, people are asking you if you are going to be transferring the other patient soon because they need the room, the doctor is asking you to please give the drug seeker the meds, because he is driving everyone nuts and the other family has started following you because, their family member has not had anything to eat ALL day and they have been here for HOURS now! Also, you have patients in the hall, waiting for a room, giving you the evil eye…because it is all YOUR fault they are not in a room.

Ok…so maybe I have become hardened. Just a little. But, hey, if I was too soft, I would have broke a while ago.