Moments

There are moments that come along in all the craziness that remind you why you choose to become a nurse.

It was a few hours into my shift and I was due to move to another area soon. I get a new patient and on the board it just says to look at chart. I look and the chart shows a possible miscarriage. One of the many sad things about my job is seeing people dealing with this situation. I have seen quite a few. You are never sure how the person is taking the news and I am not sure there is ever the right thing to say.

So, I take the chart and enter the room. Most of the lights are off. The woman is sitting in bed with a friend sitting in the chair. They are laughing and joking around. You can tell she is hurting, because she cringes in between cracking jokes with her friend. For a minute, I am not sure if the woman even realizes that triage thought she was possibly having an miscarriage.

I start by introducing myself and tell her I need to ask her some questions. I ask her about pain, if she was having any bleeding, when it started, etc. Then she starts asking me about how we do things here. I am explaining how things happen and how we usually approach things. I let her know that we will give her something for the pain she is feeling and to feel free to ask me if she needs anything. She smiles at me and tells me I have a calming voice. She asks me about my job, if I like it. I explain that even though most days are crazy, I love being here. That even if I am tired, I get a burst of energy as I pull into the parking lot. She looks at her friend and says “see, I need a job like that. I just don’t feel that anymore at my job”.

She is good at her job, but feels she is missing something. We talk some more and I leave them for awhile. I go to the nurses station where the doc takes the chart and orders some pain medication and says we need to do a pelvic exam on her.

I get the medication and all the things we need and enter the room. She is still talking with her friend and laughing. I explain what I am giving her and what I am setting up. She cracks some jokes about how the medicine is making her feel and we laugh. Her friend tells her that although they are close, she is not sticking around for the exam. She plans to go get some coffee and offers to call the patient’s husband. The patient tells her no, she does not want to bother him, he is away at work. The friend squeezes her hand and tells her she will be back later. I hand her a gown and let her know that the Doc and I will be back soon.

I head back to the nurses station and see that I am supposed to move to another area in a few minutes. I decide at that point that there is no way I am going to leave right now. I need to see this through. She needs for me to stay because it is not fair to have a stranger come in now. The Doc asks if everything is ready and off we go. I have so much respect for this particular doctor because he has to be the most caring doctor I have ever met.

He does the exam, explains to her what he sees. There is no way to save this pregnancy. She gives him a half smile and said she figured that it was. She just needed to make sure that everything was going to be ok. The doctor looks at her, and says “I’m sorry” and tears start to form in her eyes. She whispers thank you and he leaves the room.

I stay to help her get changed and to clean up the supplies when I notice she has many tattoos on her. Her friend comes in and says well, which one are you going to get this time. The patient explains that every time she has a miscarriage, she gets a new tattoo. She said the sad thing is that when she got pregnant this time, she already knew what she was going to get when she miscarried. The biggest one, I learn, is from when she had her one and only child. The rest, were from all the children she lost.

I leave the room to get her prescriptions and instructions, when I come back, she is laughing with her friend again. I know I need to say something, but I am not sure what. So, as she is walking out, I place a hand on her shoulder and tell her I am sorry. She turns and gives me a big hug and says thank you. She fights back some tears, smiles and says “you guys give some kick ass care here.”

That was my first hug from a patient and I will never regret choosing this profession because of patients like her.